On 2004-02-23 18:57:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Desisto School has gotten a lot of bad press here.
I am a parent of a 20 year old presently enrolled at he school. He was a failure in high school, in his personal relations, a drug and alcohol abuser. He went to Elan school for 8 months and left after his 18th birthday.
He though he could return to his local high scool, but after a few stable months, things spiralled downward, and he was arrested for multiple crimes.
Where do you send these kids? Most get arrested and warehoused in prison.
Desisto rescued him and has made him a success story. I have my life back again too, and my family is healing.
Sure kids hate being there. Most of them are bright people who think they have control over everything and anyone. At Desisto, they are with dozens of other kids that have problems that their families and schools could not control... girls cutting themselves, uncontrollable urges, addictions to drugs, food and sex...The first few months are rough when you are out of control.
If you run away from the program before you learn to trust yourself, and take positive steps for your future, of course you won't see the benefits.
These kids have many problems that take time to resolve, and a lifetime of control must follow.
Not outside mind control.....
If you ask the people that have recently graduated, most would admit that they would probably be dead if it were not for the Desisto School.
The kids that have sunk so low will be permanently scarred from their ordeals. They need a psychological therapeutic community to emerge and flourish.
Desisto is such a place. Deny this at your own risk."
To make certain that crime does not pay, the government should take it
over and try to run it
--G. Norman Collie
An Animated Cartoon Theology:
1. People are animals.
2. The body is mortal and subject to incredible pain.
3. Life is antagonistic to the living.
4. The flesh can be sawed, crushed, frozen, stretched, burned, bombed, and plucked for music.
5. The dumb are abused by the smart and the smart destroyed by their own cunning.
6. The small are tortured by the large and the large destroyed by their own momentum.
7. We are able to walk on air, but only as long as our illusion supports us.
-- E. L. Doctorow "The Book of Daniel"
On 2004-02-25 16:16:00, grassymtn wrote:
"Where did you go? I went to the school at Howey in the Hills. I was "put on the road" JTM"
Not a place upon earth might be so happy as America. Her situation is remote from all the wrangling world, and she has nothing to do but to trade with them.
--Thomas Paine
Q. I simply ask, why is PUNISHMENT the solution with regards to the narrow group of behaviors which encompass illegal drug use....?A.Pharmaceutical Business, both legal and illegal, run by the same people either way, money coming to the middle from both ends. Bush.
Bill Gallagher
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
-- Aristotle
On 2004-02-28 14:50:00, Marina wrote:
""Desisto", in Portuguese, means "Give Up". How can you send you kids to a placement named like that?"
What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary.
-- Richard Harkness, The New York Times, 1960
Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul alike.
-- John Muir
For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.
-- Johnny Carson
The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws.
Tacitus, Roman senator and historian (A.D. c.56- c.115)
On 2004-05-12 07:07:00, Rainman wrote:
"It amazes me how the experiences of former students varies so much. There are students who believe that DeSisto School saved their lives. While other believes that their lives were ruined because of their time spent at DeSisto. Why is it that most of the students who are now having some degree of success in life believe that their time at DeSisto were well spent. While almost all the students who hated their time at DeSisto, are still struggling with life issues that are seriously hindering their progress in life. "
It has ever been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues
--Abraham Lincoln
On 2004-05-16 10:48:00, Anonymous wrote:
"In my unscientific observation the people who now think TDS was such a positive development in their lives, were either willfull collaborators or have very defective memories of the atrocities that took place there. "
By 1940 the literacy figure for all states stood at 96 percent for whites. Eighty percent for blacks. Notice for all the disadvantages blacks labored under, four of five were still literate. Six decades later, at the end of the 20th century, the National Adult Literacy Survey and the National Assessment of Educational Progress say 40 percent of blacks and 17 percent of whites can't read at all. Put another way, black illiteracy doubled, white illiteracy quadrupled, despite the fact that we spend three or four times as much real money on schooling as we did 60 years ago.
--Vin Suprynowicz
Education is a better safeguard of liberty than a standing army.
--Edward Everett
On 2004-12-08 18:04:00, Anonymous wrote:
"ALL TALK NO ACTION, GO AHEAD DO NOTHING, WHEN ANOTHER KIDS SWALLOWS RAZOR BLADES, BECOMES PREGNANT FROM A STAFF MEMBER, RUNS AND GETS KILLED, LET IT HIT THE PAPERS AND LET ISIC OR ISSAC WHATEVER THEY CALL THEMSELVES TAKE CREDIT FOR IT, EVEN IN DC THEY ARE LOOKED AT LIKE JOKES EVERYONE KEEP POSTING AND DO NOTHING. AT LEAST I HAVE MADE IT MY LIFE KEEPING OR TRYING TO KEEP KIDS SAFE FROM THIS CRAP. "
In any civilized society, it is every citizen's responsibility to obey just laws. But at the same time, it is every citizen's responsibility to disobey unjust laws.
--Martin Luther King
On 2005-01-01 13:13:00, Anonymous wrote:
I would assume students who went to Desisto School were unable to go to public school
and this place was a chance for them to continue or complete their education .
To regard Christ as God, and to pray to him, are to my mind the greatest possible sacrilege.
--Leo Tolstoy, Russian revolutionary
On 2005-01-03 12:32:00, Anonymous wrote:
Desisto at Howey
so long as the priest, that professional negator, slanderer and poisoner of life, is regarded as a superior type of human being, there cannot be any answer to the question: What is truth?
--Freidrich Nietzsche, German philosopher
Religious controversies are always productive of more acrimony and irreconcilable hatreds than those which spring from any other cause.
--George Washington, Revolutionary War General and U.S. President
On 2005-01-04 04:39:00, Anonymous wrote:
"I knew mike richter. Did you know Dave fair? Or Pete singer?I was in the dorm above the cafateria.I went to howey last year when i was in orlando, it was very wierd only one building left from when they blew it up as part of a hulk hogan TV show. The gym was there but boarded up.It was the girls dorm that remains and is now an elemntary school.I had drinks with Dave fair about a year ago also in detroit, he is a radio talk show host.If you were there the year after me then we never met. I think i remeber kristen. I do remember Sara and Christie.
So you see i am hated because i do interventions of kids that need help and take them to schools.This board which i found because of desisto is full of one sideed minds that won't believe that any kid gets help and feel that i am a kidnapper although the law does not see it that way. The one that cares"
On 2005-01-03 19:35:00, Anonymous wrote:
"What do I dare ask was "THe Seed"?
"
...it does not require a majority to prevail, but rather an irate,
tireless minority keen to set brush fires in people's minds..
--Samuel Adams
On 2005-01-05 09:49:00, Anonymous wrote:
" Do you have any children? Perhaps you better get your life in order before you start lecturing other people about their parenting skills, you close-minded, judgmental little assholes.
By the way, I'm the only one who has the balls to put my name on here."
On 2005-01-05 09:53:00, Anonymous wrote:
Are blind or just stupid. See the signature at the end of Antigen's post???"
On 2005-01-05 10:04:00, Anonymous wrote:
I have a great husband now, 2 beautiful children
On 2005-01-05 10:10:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Quote
On 2005-01-05 10:04:00, Anonymous wrote:
I have a great husband now, 2 beautiful children
HEY!! ME TOO! Despite[/b] the tortue and abuse I suffered. I WIN!!!!!! :rofl: :rofl: "
On 2005-01-05 05:12:00, Anonymous wrote:
I'm glad there is someone here that does not hate me. But you might be the only one.I do not wish ill will on anyone either. I guees we will just have to agree to disagree. The one that cares
sunday school: A prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.
--H. L. Mencken, American publisher
On 2005-01-05 12:34:00, Anonymous wrote:
"And, god help me, I didn't see that signature.
On 2005-01-05 09:49:00, Anonymous wrote:
" Do you have any children? Perhaps you better get your life in order before you start lecturing other people about their parenting skills, you close-minded, judgmental little assholes. By the way, I'm the only one who has the balls to put my name on here."
On 2004-10-22 06:51:00, Jeff_Berryman wrote::skull: :skull:
"I used to drive past the Florida location years ago, and the locals were terrified of it. They were under the impression that every kid there had committed at least one murder and all would be adjudged insane on their 21st birthdays and sent on to state mental hospitals. That pretty well assured that any runaways would get no help or sympathy from the local community, or local police or social service agencies. I can't help but wonder if those rumors were spread deliberately. [ This Message was edited by: Jeff_Berryman on 2004-10-22 18:05 ]"
On 2005-05-13 17:36:00, Anonymous wrote:
"They are at the Cold Springs Academy in Florida - not far to look - someone should sue the pants off of them, someone has to stop them and if you all were not just talk you would do it. There is enough reports in MA in the licensing office to help substantiate all of your claims. :flame: "
Every act of a delegated authority, contrary to the tenor of the commission under which it is exercised, is void. No legislative act, therefore, contrary to the Constitution, can be valid. To deny this, would be to affirm, that the deputy is greater than his principal; that the servant is above his master; that the representatives of the people are superior to the people themselves; that men acting by virtue of powers, may do not only what their powers do not authorize, but what they forbid."
--Alexander Hamilton
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
--Voltaire (1694-1778)
Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. For when you look long into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you.
--Nietzsche
On 2005-08-13 11:53:00, tommyfromhyde1 wrote:
"BTW I once heard Reynolds say on his show that
Mike Desisto could look at someone and know what
he was thinking. Scary.
Come to the woods, for here is rest. There is no repose like that of the green deep woods. Here grow the wallflower and the violet. The squirrel will come and sit upon your knee, the logcock will wake you in the morning. Sleep in forgetfulness of all ill. Of all the upness accessible to mortals, there is no upness comparable to the mountains.
-- John Muir
On 2005-11-26 11:11:00, Anonymous wrote:Tara Rubin you mean? From New Jersey??
"Hi all. I was at Desisto for a short time in '98 (I think about the length of a dime). I worked on Inappropriate and then made my exit. I didn't really see any of the abuse that others have spoken about, but I also only lived in the intensive dorm in the mansion and not with the majority of the students and I was only there three months before I made my exit. It wasn't "horrible" but it wasn't fun either (not that it was supposed to be!) and it just wasn't for me, though I wouldn't be surprised to hear that a lot of not so good stuff happened there that I never knew about. I'm so sorry to hear that that place was so scarring and difficult for so many people, glad to hear it is no more if that's the case.
Anyway, I just wanted to ask a question...someone a while back mentioned "the Tara Rubens case". What do you mean by this? I knew Tara and her mom (if I am remembering her correctly) and our moms were very close because they were in the same parent group. I just wanted to find out what happened with her. If you can't post that on here, feel free to email me at mindutopia@hotmail.com. Also looking to connect with anyone who may have been there during that time. (Still waiting for approval to post on the MSM and MySpace boards).
Take care,
Karen"
We can easily forgive a child who is afraid[ This Message was edited by: okcomputer on 2005-12-17 16:07 ][ This Message was edited by: okcomputer on 2005-12-17 16:16 ]
of the dark. The real tragedy of life is
when men are afraid of the light.
--Plato
On 2005-12-17 14:49:00, Anonymous wrote:Are you for real? This sounds like a bunch of horse shit
"Michael was a strange man and I am shocked that so many cruel hurtful things could happen to innocent kids. I was there Dec 1988-June 1992. I always wondered if he was having sexual relations with the boys though no one ever talked about it. He did play people against one another because he made all the rules and changed them everyday. I was convinced that he had the therapists tell him what was discussed in thereapy which is why I would not speak in therapy. Confidentiality was a joke. There were a few times he told me to go to his house (I was a level 5) and report on dorm status and issues going on. He was not fully dressed when I knocked on the door and I remember one time when my girl friend was trying to get his commitment he had us come back to his bedroom and he did not have any clothes on. He was furious that she brought me along while discussing the commitment to go home. I am thinking he wanted her for himself that evening and my being there ruined that intention. He asked us to sit on the bed and it was really ackward. I avoided him as much as possible.
Where you there during 1988-1992? or later?"
don't say there wasn't physical abuse. There was definitely corporal punishment in the late 70's-80. It was one slap to the face for one lie if you had turn ins. Something about dealing honestly, but trust me once you were in the situation you got slapped around for nothing. So nobody from the 90's or 2000's tell me it was a country club. I know students personally from both eras and I can match them horror story for horror story. Sure the school and its rules changed over the years, but it all added up to a negative score no matter when you went there.
I don't use my name here because I post on the MSN site, and use this forum to have a safe place to express myself. No balls I guess. If anyone wants to email me I'll tell you who I am.
clubaccessart@yahoo.com
The slapping stopped by 1980, and that was the year Howey opened. Believe me or don't believe me, your choice. In a dorm meeting me and two other students were slapped for turnins by three faculty members and one other very burly student. I went through the same thing on the MSN site until, a well known dorm parent verified it. That's where the expression "getting hit up for turnins" came from if anyone is at all curious. I wouldn't expect anyone to believe anything that took place at DeSisto unless they saw it themselves, because a lot of the shit that went on is unbelievable even to DeSistoites. I know the director(Sean Moffat) who put an end to some of the more atrocious Lake Grove practices, including slapping for turnins. If we were on the MSN site I could get on a good day get at least three or four people to back up everything I have said. The truth is out there about the DeSisto School and its history, but students and parents are still going to supress their memories, and believe whatever they want to.
A leash was nothing but staying in arms distance with a fellow student, it happened when you were in trouble. Or maybe they thought you might run. Was not fun, but not abuse.
i read that Desisto was forced to close after a student swallowed razer blades and wasnt taken to the hospital for quite a while.
People report different experiences becasue their experiences were different. It was a "lord of the flies" experience. The strong emotionally integrated kids ganged up on the weaker kids. The people who were strong only suffered the physical deprivations which were tough but not genuinely terrible. While the kids who were marked for bullying lived in a horror land where they would clean all day and then get screamed at by about 19 kids their age about what discusting horrible worthless people they were.
I figured out the key to this "diverging experience" issue by reading the post of one of my contemporaries Heather. She came to my house with 1 other girl and 5 other men and dragged me into a van. She was the biggest bully there. I remember her ordering around the younger girls (she looked about 21) with such gusto. She "silenced" another girl and then would announce she was kidding the girl would speak and Heather would yell at her and "silence" her again. SHe really got off on confronting people. Anyway, she looks back at this time fondly because like a nazi who enjoyed ordering around jews she enjoyed ordering around and having complete poewer over other kids. Power is something people are really attracted to and some people really relish it when they get it.
Quote from: ""Guest""A leash was nothing but staying in arms distance with a fellow student, it happened when you were in trouble. Or maybe they thought you might run. Was not fun, but not abuse.
The next poster replied that that was the stupidest thing he ever heard, well maybe leashing became something else later, but in my two plus years that exactly what a leash was. If you were drinking, or drugging, had run away or something else considered fairly major and they didn't feel that you had really "dealt" with it or "worked through it" and didn't trust that you weren't about to do it again then you were put on a leash, having to have someone with you if you weren't in class or the dorm for usually a short period of time until you convinced people you had, or were, honestly dealing with the supposed emotional issues that caused you to "act out." It was generally a group decision as I remember it, and while it may have been bullshit in some sense and in some cases, no, it wasn't anywhere near the level of "abuse," physical or psychological. Get fucking real! I have no idea what "cornering" was so I can't compare it.
Last i heard, in June, they shipped off the last dozen or so students to San Miguel Mexico. I can't find any google searches for a Cold Spring School in Florida.
Many years ago, I read of the case of a Heather Burdick who ran away from Desisto and a judge ordered her returned there. Her friends were trying to get her out. Does anyone know the whole story on that?
The only info I can add about the DeSisto school is an experience I had about 3 years ago. My dad is a diplomat and, about mid-way into my "downward spiral", the federal State Department's educational consultant was pushing hard to get me in a CEDU-type program.
I used to work at Desisto as a dorm parent. All of the stories, all of the allegations, everything that seems too horrible to believe....it's all true. I was there. I witnessed a grown man restrain an 18 year old girl the entire day by laying on top of her, from early morning to THE NEXT MORNING! She had been sitting in the corner staring at the wall for months. Anyone would go crazy in those cirucmstances. Then there was all the dorm parent support group crap and required group therapy sessions. PLEASE!!! If I had any problems, I wouldn't be working there, I'd be a client. If you thought outside the box, or didn't think like they did, you were constantly threatened of job termination, and mentally abused. I used to work in a lovely little place called "the farm". It was for the kids that were acting out the most. This hell hole was located in the basement. It was the summer time and all of the windows were sealed. Granted they had air conditioning, but it was only in the main room, not in any of the bedrooms. There was mold and bugs and spiders. For the girls who refused to bathe, it made it unbearable. The children were essentially "closed off" from the rest of society, only doing chores and working around the campus. There was no leasure time for activity. The only time they had to sit around was spent in group therapy sessions.
The incident that sent me packing occured the night I literally walked out without notice. A girl had seperated herself from the group. Her punishment for doing that was to strip to her underwear, and lay on a mattress in the center of the room with no sheet, pillows, or blankets. The door had to remain open at all times, and a staff worker, woman OR MAN, had to sit and watch this child all night.
I am SO GLAD the school closed. I get physically ill just thinking about the living conditions, let alone how children AND staff were treated.
how many kids did Desisto slepp with. Was it jus the boys?
Group.
Group involved a bunch of "head girls" "confronting" someone.
Were they forced to make a certain number of confrontations a day?
Were there ground rules for confronting people, eg. cleaning issues must be approached.
When i was there, girls were endlessly confronted...for not working hard enough, for some innocent gesture that proved what villians they were.
The same weaker softer girls got confroted the most.
Can someone who got further up the desisto ladder explain the confrontation process to me. I was on the lowest level my whole time
Quote from: ""Guest""http://72.14.209.104/search?q=cache:IHttVwnWzC0J:www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,946422,00.html+desisto&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=19&gl=us
::puke:: :scared: :evil: :scared:QuoteIn a therapeutic community, no one is ever offstage, and Lisa's reputation for lying will make every conversation a confrontation until she breaks the habit.
WHAT THE FUCK?QuoteThe basic question at DeSisto, in and out of therapy, is "Where are you?" The answer usually comes in Gestalt terms of physical feelings. "My heart is pounding," one girl will say, or "I'm shaking all over. I'm very embarrassed." The student will be urged to "stay with the feeling." There is a lot of gentle mockery, and requests for hugs are granted, but no Esalen-like, nudie-feelie techniques are allowed. Guilt feelings are frowned upon, and youngsters are not allowed to blame themselves for long. One girl whose parents beat her is coached to tell residents of her dorm: "It was their fault, not mine."
WTF?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!
I used to work at Desisto as a dorm parent. All of the stories, all of the allegations, everything that seems too horrible to believe....it's all true. I was there. I witnessed a grown man restrain an 18 year old girl the entire day by laying on top of her, from early morning to THE NEXT MORNING! She had been sitting in the corner staring at the wall for months. Anyone would go crazy in those cirucmstances. Then there was all the dorm parent support group crap and required group therapy sessions. PLEASE!!! If I had any problems, I wouldn't be working there, I'd be a client. If you thought outside the box, or didn't think like they did, you were constantly threatened of job termination, and mentally abused. I used to work in a lovely little place called "the farm". It was for the kids that were acting out the most. This hell hole was located in the basement. It was the summer time and all of the windows were sealed. Granted they had air conditioning, but it was only in the main room, not in any of the bedrooms. There was mold and bugs and spiders. For the girls who refused to bathe, it made it unbearable. The children were essentially "closed off" from the rest of society, only doing chores and working around the campus. There was no leasure time for activity. The only time they had to sit around was spent in group therapy sessions.
The incident that sent me packing occured the night I literally walked out without notice. A girl had seperated herself from the group. Her punishment for doing that was to strip to her underwear, and lay on a mattress in the center of the room with no sheet, pillows, or blankets. The door had to remain open at all times, and a staff worker, woman OR MAN, had to sit and watch this child all night.
I am SO GLAD the school closed. I get physically ill just thinking about the living conditions, let alone how children AND staff were treated.
I WAS THERE DURING THAT TIME TOO, MY NAME IS CARTER MARLOW. IF YOU CAN TALK TO ME I AM BOOTDISK7@MSN.COM PR AIM= BOOTDISK7.........I WOULD LOVE TO TALK TO PEOPLE FROM THERE AGAIN. DO YOU REMEMBER JAMAL ROBERTS?Q. I simply ask, why is PUNISHMENT the solution with regards to the narrow group of behaviors which encompass illegal drug use....?A.Pharmaceutical Business, both legal and illegal, run by the same people either way, money coming to the middle from both ends. Bush.
Bill Gallagher
Michael DeSisto was a caring counselor and to some degree a real psychic. I worked at DeSisto School for about 1 year. The reason I worked there was because of Michael. Michael is obviously not perfect, but he does have the tremedous ability to get through to difficult teenagers.
DeSisto school has numerous flaws, I must admit. From the whole 'farming' idea, the cornering and the restraining, it definitely was unconventional disciplining methods. But strangly enough, some students reacted well to the DeSisto system. I know because I witness the transformation of some of the kids myself when I was a dorm parent at the 'farm'.
The unique methods applied at the school, only worked because Michael was personally involved. Now Michael has died, I do not believe the staff remaining at the school, new or old, could effectively utilize Michael's educational philosophies to benefit the school's students. I would have to agree that there is no benefit in a parent sending their child to DeSisto School, because DeSisto School is not a special school anymore. It is now just another school...
Hi anonymous staff, curious who you are? I attened Desisto and experienced sheeting on the farm. Yes, the majority of my stay at Desisto I cleaned which did not allow for much free time. Sometimes we were allowed to go to school, but that was a joke. I doubt that half of the teachers were certified to teach the subject they were teaching. Most of our time was spent cleaning. We spent 1 hour in the DR 3 times a day if the dorm was not farmed. We cleaned up after every meal. That was called being a waiter unpaid work. We spent a great deal of time in dorm meetings discussing why people were not following the rules, yelling at students who broke a rule and figuring out a collective punishment for those people. This was called therapy. Yelling and being mean to students, when they finally cried about it, they were taken care of by other students and friended. Then they paid $2. per day for being friended. It took the student getting everyone's vote to get unfriended. If more than half of the dorm was friended or buddied the dorm because grouped, hand held, or eventually farmed.
Being farmed meant that you did not attend school and that you were in dorm meetings most of the day, later you might do a few hours of work crews manual labor outside. Eating meals in the lobby of the dorm.
There was a special place on campus called the FARM. Kids were sent to the farm if they were causing too much trouble on campus. I was personally sent to the farm 3 times for long stays. I remember being on the farm and I was growing tired of work crews. My girlfriend L and I decided to protest the work and baracaded ourselves in the girls bedroom. This was easy because the windows had been locked already preventing access inside or out. This I am sure was a fire hazard. We pushed the closet in front of the doorm and the bed infront of that. There was not way the door could be opened. The staff member was furious and he eventually broke in through a window only to drag us out of there and push us around. We were yelled at etc. The staff at Desisto around this time were about to go on retreat and this staff was about to have a weekend off or a week off. He yelled at us and then turned us over to the level 3 students for punishment. The students some of which did not like me decided that I was to be sheeted. This meant that my clothes were removed and I was in my underwear. I was given a sheet to wear like a toga. I was dragged into the girls room for privacy while the 5 or 6 girls held me down and removed my clothes. This was a terrible experience. That being said it only got worse. I was told to stand in the corner of the lobby, silenced, restricted of food and water until someone deciced I deserved it. I rebelled and refused to stand and was held up in the corner. This resulted in a physical tassle and eventually I was allowed to lay on the floor. I was sobbing on the floor for many days. Eventually I was given a chair to sit in and was yelled at for not sitting properly. The level 4 in charge said he would bash my fucking head through the wall if I did not sit the right way. My feet had to be on the floor. My back hurt and my pride from embarrassment. I physically was exhausted. I think I was allowed to eat a peanut butter and jelly sand witch and water. I was taunted by other farmers and made fun of. My therapist, Dorthoy later decided to visit me on the farm and I was made fun of by her. She called me a mule and was no help what so ever. She was a new ineffective therapist that did not last long at Desisto.
I made a superficial cut on my arm out of anger about having been sheeted and a level 4 came down held me down and cut all of my finger nails so short my fingers hurt. That hurt more than anything as I was used to having long fingernails. I was wake shifted at night in my sheet by staff members and eventually one of the supervisors decided to unsheet me. I believe I was sheeted for 5 or 6 days possibly longer. That week was a blur. After that I was eventually sent to a psychiatric facility and I believe after this traumatic incident I quit talking for a long period of time. I was in schock from what happened and did not believe anyone cared about me. I asked to call my parents and I was denied access to a phone because I was on the farm. I asked if I could speak to the police because I felt that my rights had been violated. No luck with that either.
There were other things that happened I believe just as harmful to a teenager. We had sitting meetings if someone took something or moved something with out admitting it. We would not be allowed to attend school and were made it sit in the dining room in a large circle. No one was allowed to talk and you had to sit all day long until bedtime. 7am-9pm sometimes 10pm. Sitting in chairs like this is terrible for most bodies but especially teenagers. Most teens and children have a tremendous amount of energy so it is really hard to sit all day, not talk, and wait patiently until Michael and the staff agree that the sitting can stop. Eventually enough people would run away and we would stop. Usually this time was a great time to do your turn ins and admit the things you have done wrong. Breaking group friend, not doing homework, normal sexual activity such as holding hands and kissing were forbidden. Knowing that someone would run away and helping them... Staff occasionally would do their turn ins and admit to using drugs or alcohol etc. That was really amusing to hear your 20 year old dorm parent admit to the stuff that most of the kids had been sent there for. THese were the people taking care of us. Desisto normally hired young staff barely out of college people Michael could manipulate. Staff frequently were fired which would mean that they would have to work on their issues and recieve half the pay or no pay. Now that in my opinon goes to show how much control michael had. I bet the staff followed along for fear of losing their jobs. I also think that most staff got off on the power that they had and enjoyed the drauma of it all. Why would you work at a place like that? Did you really think you were helping children? I believe that staff were not trained properly because if you had been trained you would know there are ethics and laws protecting children and children's rights. Never should other children hold down other children yet this was encouraged at times. Often the person in the limit structure would be purposely provoked so they would feel their intense feelings of anger and helplessness which would further cause them to freak out even more. Limit structures lasted hours and we got in trouble if we did not hold down the kids that were going to run away or hurt someone etc.
I will never forget a specific incident that happend after I had been at Desisto about 2 weeks. I was in the new girls dorm. My dorm parent was an 18 year old former student of Desisto. She herself had been there for years. One of the students was refusing to clean during mandatory saturday cleanup. This special cleaning day happened on Saturdays and many times lasted until Sunday where you deep cleaned the already clean down. Also you recieved new bed sheets at this time. The girl was put in an empty room where she was told to stay. She laid down on the bed and that caused the dorm parent and other girls to feel angry. She was told to sit up in the bed. This quickly escalated into a power struggle where she and the dorm parent got into a physical fight. The dorm parents hair was pulled and the student was harmed and then the dorm parent punched the door of her apartment and stayed in her apartment to cool down. Then the girls took over and someone decided to throw the aggressive student into a limit structure yet the dorm parent was equally aggressive. Staff were not put in limit structures even when they looked like they needed one. This girl had a history of abuse and the girls held her down only to taunt her about her history of abuse. The girls said specific cruel things to the girl to purposely remind her of her rapes. She freaked out even more and was held down longer. This was a terrible day for all of us but especially this young girl. That incident still haunts me. Now this was considered therapy at the school. I am serious. That was considered therapy that I guess was supposed to improve peoples emotional state and behavior. Therapy was actually harmful most of the time. It was mean, cruel, and in some cases psychological torchure.
I remember once during the later part of my stay at Desisto I was in regular Girls dorm and I was a level 2 or 3. I was not friended or buddied which meant that I was a trusted student and that I was to carry more responsibility. Many of the other dorms on campus were not doing well. The NG dorm was farmed and the NB dorm was farmed. I think that Reg. Boys was also farmed. We got a new boy admitted to the school and staff and kids feared that he was a runaway risk. The new boys dorm could not be trusted to watch and shift this boy so the other students around campus had to do it even during the night time. This lasted many days and nights more than 3. I was told that I had to wake up in the middle of the night to do one or two hours of waking shifting this new boy. I protested because sleep has always been important for my self care. Also I was afraid to enter a boys dorm and did not want to get harassed or raped. I was told that if I did not do it, I would be expelled off from campus which meant I would lose many priveleges etc. I agreed to wake shift this new boy though I was scared to death. I was woken up by another student around midnight or one to walk across campus in the middle of the nigght and relieve the other student. I had to do this 2 or 3 nights in a row or else be expelled. The things that I had to do there were not safe. I was possibly 17 or 18 years old. My parents told me I had to graduate which meant not getting expelled off. I knew this so I agreed to waking shifting in the middle of the night.
Eventually we had a sitting meeting in our dorm and we were farmed as well. That was a terrible year for me. And the story continues to get worse.
I was told by my parents that I had to graduate from Desisto. I was about to turn 18. Many kids left at 18 because they can not keep you as easily. Eventually Michael, the owner got fed up with his level 4 graduating dorm and he walked all the level 4's and threw them out of the school. This was the graduating class. They had worked hard to be where they were. Michael just threw them out and the whole school was sitting at that time and we elected a new student body called Stewards. I was elected Head Steward with my friend, S. We were to run the new stewardship but had to live in Reg. kids dorms which meant that we did not get the perks that the level 4's had. That was too bad. It was considered a luxury to be in the level 4 dorm away from campus and closer to Michael.
Michael kept telling me to come by his house more and more at night as he wanted me to report on the dorms I was in charge of. I often told him I was busy with chores or asked if I could come by during the day time. I tried to take another student with me because going to his house was creepy. On several occasions he was not fully dressed. Once he told me to come by early in the morning. I knocked on his front door. He yelled come in. I entered and stood in the kitchen and he came out of his bed room to greet me in his blue calvin klein underwear and was buttoning his shirt. I looked away and told him he should not have had me come in if he was not dressed. Once a friend of mine, L. begged me to go with her to his house at night because she needed his permission to go home on vacation. We knocked on his door and he said come in. He was in his bed in his bedroom not dressed. He was angry at this student for bringing me along and angry at her telling her he would not give her a vacation. He wanted us to sit on the bed with him but I refused and we left.
Once Michael asked me to escort him and another new boy to the mall for clothes shopping. Michael insisted on buying me some clothes despite my insistance that I did not want or need them. He bought me gifts which set me apart from all my friends that were not allowed off campus and did not recieve gifts. Michael frequently did that. He would give some students special priveleges or gifts which caused jealously among the students. I always thought that he was sexually abusing the boys though I never could express that. I have heard other students say that they too witnessed Michael's inappropriate advances and that he was not always dressed. This was the head of the school the master therapist.
And one time I went to Michael's house when I was head steward and he was in his bath robe. He wanted me to sit with him on the couch. He wanted to get to know me and bond with me. I told him that I did not want to sit down and asked why I was there. This was late at night around 9 or 10 when the rest of the school was going to bed. This type of inappropriate behavior led me to believe that I may be abused by the owner of the school and I was in a bind because I was told by my parents that I had to graduate. Graduating meant having a relationship with this troubled man. Eventually I became suicidal and was sent to a psych hospital. Also at that time I was in charge of the farm, a place I knew well. There was a young boy freaking out on the farm. I could not figure out why this boy was so angry, I suspected abuse though I could not prove anything. Eventually the staff member on the farm was caught abusing boys and he was arrested and thrown in jail. This came out when I was in the hospital. Michael visited me when I was at the hospital and I believe to intimidate me and make sure I did not say anything to get him or others in trouble.
I even told the staff of the hospital and my parents about the abuse but I was later sent back to the school for anotehr 2 months before being withdrawn. I can not believe that my parents and the hospital staff did nothing about the abuse. I believe that noone cared what happened to me or my friends. That is the truth. No one cared.
When teens have trouble people believe they deserve the treatment they get when in fact the teens in trouble need help. Usually it is the whole family that needs help but the teen is singled out and sent away thrown out like a bag of trash.
There are more memories and bad times but this is a glimpse of what transpired during the years of 1988 - 1992 and beyond.
I was pretty sure that staff were having sexual relations with friends but could not prove it. I felt it was not my business.
I know this is a long post but it feels good to speak my truth and let others know what happened at The Crazy School, the Desisto School.
I celebrate the day Michael dies and I celebrate it like a national holiday. I am glad that the school closed down.
Still healing. Love to all of you who were there or were in a place that was just as terrible.
If I were a staff member at the school, I would feel really bad that I worked in a place that abused kids every day. I think it is a crime that child services was not called. Almost every day I was there, the child services could have been called about something. Staff should have been intelligent enough to know right from wrong. It just goes to show that staff were not educated or trained to work in a place for troubled teens.
I feel that the students are owed an aopolgy for all the wrongs and harms done to them. I have not recieved an apology for anything that happened.
At this point, all I want is validation that those experiences were wrong and that someone is sorry about it. There are hundreds of kids that are still suffering today because of what they went though at that place.
I know I am not the only one that feels this way.
If anyone doubts the stories I tell, I can find other students to verify that I am telling the truth.
Feeling better from telling part of my story to a group that I know understands. KM
I went to Desisto from 1983 to 1984. Against my will, of course. I was 16 and 17. I hated it so much. Though it sounds like it got far worse in years after I was there. Lots of verbal abuse. Lots of bizarre things. I remember lots of "sitting" whenever something was missing. We'd have to sit for hours until someone confessed. Often no one did and we sat all that time for no purpose.
I ran away from the place one time. But being on the road with no money and no place to go seemed worse than the awful life at Desisto I ran away from. I returned and was put on "hours" for running away. The schooling was a joke there too. When I returned to my public school after a year at Desisto I had to repeat the junior high school year I supposedly got at Desisto.
Michael himself was truly bizarre. The other high ups were likewise odd and mostly uncaring. Although there was one very nice man to me. The dorm "parents" were also mostly sarcastic and difficult, but there was one very nice woman. And also one man who though difficult and bizarre at times, took a liking to me and we had a certain connection. So I was grateful that there was a few good ones among the craziness there.
The other students could often be mean and abusive. But many had real problems and the Desisto system hardly was adequately and appropriately addressing their needs. And there were a few nice ones among them too, thankfully.
At least they permitted boyfriend-girlfriend relationships there, including openly kissing. And no sex was allowed, which is also obviously a wise policy. Problem is, I never had a girlfriend there. I imagine the students who had someone special like that were really helped a great deal in coping with the rest of the nonsense.
I am thankful I never suffered anything like others have described. But the mental pain the whole experience caused me has continued even to this day, 24 years later, in the form of bad dreams about this place. Ever since I left Desisto, I have at times dreamed I was back there again. What an awful feeling it is to think I am stuck back there, having to wait months for the next week homecoming visit. Then upon awaking and realizing it was just a dream comes relief again. Such dreams were far more frequent at first. Now they are very rare. Yet, once in a while I still have such a nightmare. That is a testament to just how much that place affected me.
I hope my fellow students who were still there after I left were also able to get out soon (by their parents withdrawing them from the school, NOT by running away) and have not been too scarred from the experience there. I hope they were able to get the real help they needed for their particular problems and have been living happy and healthy lives all the years since.
nothing happened at DeSisto that hasn't happened at every other school."You're an idiot. Obviously you weren't a student there. Or you were one of the staff who molested the kids you sick freak.
:question:
Quote from: "Guest"nothing happened at DeSisto that hasn't happened at every other school."You're an idiot. Obviously you weren't a student there. Or you were one of the staff who molested the kids you sick freak.
:question:
Quote from: "Guest"Quote from: "Guest"nothing happened at DeSisto that hasn't happened at every other school."You're an idiot. Obviously you weren't a student there. Or you were one of the staff who molested the kids you sick freak.
:question:
Has anyone heard of the Desisto school in MA? I heard it was an unlicensed residential school calling itself a boarding school, that is now through force of licensing by the state. I hear now that the parent groups are controlling parents and phone calls are limited, kids are kept in dorms as punishment meals in their rooms, and no activity time except for work or chore related stuff. I have heard horror stories and am wondering if they are true because a parent is inquiring about this school. :question:
Quote from: ""Guest""i read that Desisto was forced to close after a student swallowed razer blades and wasnt taken to the hospital for quite a while.
Whoever wrote this qoute is ABSALUTLY correct...It is so true as to why the experiances were different....bravo for expressing, so well, what I want to write too!!!!! PS I was there in 93.....
People report different experiences becasue their experiences were different. It was a "lord of the flies" experience. The strong emotionally integrated kids ganged up on the weaker kids. The people who were strong only suffered the physical deprivations which were tough but not genuinely terrible. While the kids who were marked for bullying lived in a horror land where they would clean all day and then get screamed at by about 19 kids their age about what discusting horrible worthless people they were.
I figured out the key to this "diverging experience" issue by reading the post of one of my contemporaries Heather. She came to my house with 1 other girl and 5 other men and dragged me into a van. She was the biggest bully there. I remember her ordering around the younger girls (she looked about 21) with such gusto. She "silenced" another girl and then would announce she was kidding the girl would speak and Heather would yell at her and "silence" her again. SHe really got off on confronting people. Anyway, she looks back at this time fondly because like a nazi who enjoyed ordering around jews she enjoyed ordering around and having complete poewer over other kids. Power is something people are really attracted to and some people really relish it when they get it.
The place obviously changed so much and so much for the worse over the years. The things you describe are like night and day from the school I went to (late Lake Grove/early Desisto). So many different concepts and rules, new boys, regular boys, levels, intensives, living at the mansion, sheeting, farms, punching, organized bullying, confined or starved for long periods etc. etc. .... wow, none of that shit went on in my day.