Here on level one of executive purgatory we have a nice intake-coordinator to play good cop/bad cop with you for all eternity. Everytime you answer a question,two obnoxious geeks tell you you are lying, and you start over again. Ann Crow got her start here but was demoted to a lower level in time...
Level 2
Now for the slightly worse behaving exec we have the second level. Here you will be called on to relate & summarily cut short everytime you speak and told how FOS you are. Then you are sat down. Repeat. All day. Every day.
L3
Level three is fun. If you're watching that is. Here an assorted group of fun loving execs is enjoying full contact with all the MISDIAGNOSED "druggies" which were actually schizophrenic, abused, bi-polar or something but kept at straight anyway. Here execs and staff "clinicians" have the loonies as DR.'s diagnose maladies AND treat the wayward souls for whatever they think MIGHT work. Curtis from St. Petersburg and Todd from Atlanta 1982 run the raps. This is extra fun because all Todd ever did in the year I saw him was bellow strange sounds and bounce up and down like a pogo stick...
Level 4
A large snowdrift is all which is visible. In the middle is Ruth-Anne Newton and her frostbitten son. They loved to send unruly St Pete/Sarasota kids north for motivational therapy. Marc pulls Ruthie through the snow all day,by the beltloop, but the cold keeps freezing his fingers. Ruth-annes silver hair is getting messed up, and for "not taking pride in herself" she is forced to go to a bigger snowdrift.
Level 5
Exercise level. Here we find all the folks who perpetuated "excercise" raps. They have to sweat sweat sweat until the walls "sweat", but every time they are almost to the dew point, the misbehavior running this rap opens a door and POOF, all that hard earned sweat floats away. Keep jogging assholes!!!
Level 6
Wow, what did these guys do you ask your guide? A huge pile of money is at the center of the room. Suspended over the money, inverted, are all the board members, exec staffers and fund raisers for Straight. The parents and siblings have bats to beat more money out of the pockets of our penance payers. More money miraculously appears in thier pockets. The crowd goes into a fury. At the end of the day, Mel Sembler is let down and has to light the pile of money on fire. Repeat continually...
Level 7
Dietary motivation therapy. A huge feast is prepared. Sunday morning style Atlanta breakfast, St Pete fried grouper an stone crabs piled high. Fine Tampa Cuban classics like devilled crabs and paella. Virginia traditional thanksgiving dinner. Regional favorites representative of all Straights are waiting to be eaten by a horde of hungry drug warriors.
But they cannot reach the table. There is a trench of peanut butter with an apple tossed in here or there. To get to the tables, they must first eat their way through the peanut butter, and eat the apples too. But to eat all the peanut butter is impossible, because former dietary terrorism victims keep filling the pit between trips to the banquet. Boy oh boy this Grouper is good.
Does that peanut butter turn your turds green Mr Newton? Oh, so constipated you would'nt know. Eat up boyz
Level 8
Second to the last, reserved for the special cases. Newton, Buttimer,Tilly, Dave Crock, Chris Casselor and Wanda Minton types are here. They are in group on first phases. Some 2nd phaser keeps poking them in the back to sit up. They slouch again. The moral crusading 2nd phaser now grabs a shoulder, puts other hand mid-way down back of our former staffers and yanks them up. The swinging begins, chairs fly, and the muffled screams of get your hands off me are quickly replaced by the frantic sounds of 2nd and 3rd phasers getting in on the action. How many people can we sit on one body anyway the tormentors wonder? Does this green stuff coming out of Millers nose mean his lungs are squished yet? Hey Wanda, we dont care if you need to use the bathroom or change your tampon. You need "humble pants" anyway...
Level 9 I will give back to Dante:
THE COLDEST PLACES IN HELL ARE RESERVED FOR THOSE WHO IN TIMES OF GREAT MORAL CRISIS MAINTAIN THEIR NEUTRALITY.
Hope you enjoyed. I found it fun to write.
Bill
