We sent our son to Daytop for treatment for drug/behavioral issues which were tearing the family apart. He deliberately got kicked out of that facility, and we were given one day to remove him. in the interim, our house was broken into in his absence(specifically his room.) so, upon adbvice of a friend and after a recommendation from another school we sent hime to Liahona, specifically requesting that he receive a psychaitric assessment, meds, if necessary, and therapy. He was there 3 months, and saw the psych once. No report. No meds. He has returned home, and he is worse than when he went in. -And, he despises us for sending him to Liahona, where he states he was physically abused. What remedy do we have? They told us they could extend guardianship beyond his 18th birthday. We sent a permission note, and have not yet received any court document confirming the same. In fact, I suspect that an extension was not even a valid legal procedure in Utah. Has anyone else had that experience with this facility? Help? I want my son back. -and if we can't resore him, we want justice. Demetra
Guardianship can be extended beyond the age of majority, but it requires more than a permission slip. Parents have to prove to a judge that their child is incapable of handling their own affairs and/or functioning independently. But, then we are talking about
Utah, and
programs. Easier to do with the aid of a program.
You can speak to an attorney re: the abuse. You or your son can also report it to CPS and DHS, for what good that will do in Utah. The latter licenses programs.
As far as 'helping' your son, I think the most pressing thing to do is help him figure out the source of his distress, or find a friend/therapist he trusts enough to explore that with. Help him determine if his life is going the way he would like it to be. If not, what he'd change. And what steps need to be taken to get back on a track he'd prefer. Help him remember what gives him passion and when/why he lost it. Same thing you'd do for your best friend or partner. Teens aren't that different, you just have to prove to them that you are on their side to help them achieve the goals THEY desire. Be prepared for rejection. It's just a test to see how dedicated you really are and if you're stong enough to help him through a rough patch. If you wimp out (cry, wring hands, gult trip) or pull the authoritarian card (punishment, placement), you both loose. He won't trust you to be able to help him, and rightfully so.
The only things he needs to see from you are genuine caring, no judgement, matter-of-fact and accurate information, suggestions on steps to take to achieve his goals, and your assistance where it is wanted. Save your anger and worry to vent to your friend, partner, therapist. Yeh, you should be seeing a therapist so you can be more objective and focus on him, and not yourself. I'm not suggesting you do this, but manipulating kids with one's fears/anger is not effective.
Woops... the very
first thing you do is apologize for sending him away. And it's best if you are sincere. They know the difference.