Fornits: A Primer for the Uninitiated

[DannyB II]

Che, CHe, CHE! I don't have an agenda.  I just have wishes:
1.  For survivors to receive support, validation, fellowship.... Check!!
2.  For program prospects to get flip coin information  with no ed con marketing. For maximum efficacy, this requires people here to behave in a credible fashion. Passion, knowledge, and experience = good. Extreme acts = off putting.  Many people here have done excellent work providing research, anecdotes, and insight. In-fighting and extremity potentially capsize results.

What's done is done. I am more concerned with the current generation.

But I'm not really that nice. If you bend over, I'll kick your ass if you want.  (But then I'd run. Fast.) I'm still pissed about the rick shaw, you see.

For frivolity. I'd add a #3. For the Elan site, I can't keep track of who is who and on what "side" because of the interpersonal dramatics. WTH happened over there? It looks like interpersonal hell. It seems like every one is in there own Private Idaho and there is no interconnectedness. Is there any way it could reach attain #1?

And #4 If I could only figure out how to handle Whooter. On one hand, I should ignore him and focus on issues.  But his bold face personal lies and derailment tactics make it difficult to let it go.  If he were just pro program or neutral, I could take it. But the Tar Baby tactics and convoluted derailment agenda as well as his personal lies make him difficult to ignore. Especially for people who visit briefly.  They haven't spent the time to see his patterns as we have.

So in that sense, I feel like democracy should be usurped in favor of a ban.  That is just my opinion.

Because you are lazy and bigoted. Thank god you hold no position where diverse lives are at stake. I also thank heavens you are of a minority.

[Whooter]

This is where a parent needs to make a stand and make a child go to counseling as a family and continue doing it even if the child don't want to open up...

Many here on fornits would disagree with you and state that forcing a child into therapy will never work.  You should reconsider that statement, Botched, before you get some PM's from the majority to change your thought pattern.
If local forced therapy was considered acceptable then forced therapy away from home would have to be considered as an option also.  This would never be considered acceptable here on fornits.



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[Botched Programming]

This is where a parent needs to make a stand and make a child go to counseling as a family and continue doing it even if the child don't want to open up...

Many here on fornits would disagree with you and state that forcing a child into therapy will never work.  You should reconsider that statement, Botched, before you get some PM's from the majority to change your thought pattern.
If local forced therapy was considered acceptable then forced therapy away from home would have to be considered as an option also.  This would never be considered acceptable here on fornits.



...

You are a real one trick daddy on the away from home counseling aren't you... The parent should have to endure the same treatment as the child to keep things in perspective rather than expect some lame kiddie mill to fix their kid...

By the way my PM's will not get flooded like yours.. people here respect and like me as I have walked a mile or two in their shoes...

[Samara]

Danny, you are a moron. One minute conciliatory, the next making prejudicial statements. I work full time and take care of two children single handedly, while attending graduate school. I have my own home. I don't really think you can be lazy and provide for myself and my two children if I were lazy.  

I've tried to show a lot of restraint toward you, but wonder how you continue to attack people based on your own personality deficits. You make broad, assumptive statements, which indicates intellectual  laziness if nothing else, and you appear to be totally unaware of both your misogyny and your tendency toward the dramatic.You have a truly remarkable lack of self awareness, which is why no one values or respects your opinion.

[Whooter]

This is where a parent needs to make a stand and make a child go to counseling as a family and continue doing it even if the child don't want to open up...

Many here on fornits would disagree with you and state that forcing a child into therapy will never work.  You should reconsider that statement, Botched, before you get some PM's from the majority to change your thought pattern.
If local forced therapy was considered acceptable then forced therapy away from home would have to be considered as an option also.  This would never be considered acceptable here on fornits.



...

You are a real one trick daddy on the away from home counseling aren't you... The parent should have to endure the same treatment as the child to keep things in perspective rather than expect some lame kiddie mill to fix their kid...

By the way my PM's will not get flooded like yours.. people here respect and like me as I have walked a mile or two in their shoes...

Sure if the parents and child need therapy then it should continue.  But what if it turns out that just the parents need therapy?  Would it be fair to subject the kid to therapy too?  What if it turns out that just the kid needs therapy?  Should the parent seek therapy just to keep it all in perspective?

Botched, You view it always as one sided.  Sometimes the kid needs most of the therapy and other times the parents need the help.  You need to open up your perspective a little and realize that not every situation is the same. Most of the time local services seal the deal and help the family in crises.  But on the rare occasion that it doesn’t then other options should be placed on the table.  We should not just give up and hope that the kids turns out okay.



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[Botched Programming]

Sure if the parents and child need therapy then it should continue.  But what if it turns out that just the parents need therapy?  Would it be fair to subject the kid to therapy too?  What if it turns out that just the kid needs therapy?  Should the parent seek therapy just to keep it all in perspective?

Yes on all accounts above... If the parent needs therapy then the kid needs to know how to deal with that issue so counseling would be in order and vice versa if the kid needs counseling..

( No offense, but now I see why your daughter went astray with your logic being one sided )

Botched, You view it always as one sided.  Sometimes the kid needs most of the therapy and other times the parents need the help.  
...

With you being so one sided you are overlooking the fact that the issue is a family issue and not that of just one side so all involed would need proper counseling and that would only come by both parties doing it.. What is good for the child is good for the parent as well at the same time and vice versa. It helps both sides be able to see red flags when they crop up..Plus it helps build trust on both sides if both are participating.

Thank God I always played an active role in both of my daughters lives, especially when it came to doctors, schools, and such..Having a child and being a parent are 2 totally different things...

[DannyB II]

Danny, you are a moron. One minute conciliatory, the next making prejudicial statements. I work full time and take care of two children single handedly, while attending graduate school. I have my own home. I don't really think you can be lazy and provide for myself and my two children if I were lazy.  

I've tried to show a lot of restraint toward you, but wonder how you continue to attack people based on your own personality deficits. You make broad, assumptive statements, which indicates intellectual  laziness if nothing else, and you appear to be totally unaware of both your misogyny and your tendency toward the dramatic.You have a truly remarkable lack of self awareness, which is why no one values or respects your opinion.

 
Samara, I don't really care what you think of me or anyone else. When the hell are you folks going to get this through your heads.
 
Congrats, Samara is a single mother, who works and goes to school. I raised my 2 children by myself, worked full time and went to school. My 1st love/wife died while my kids were still young.

You have showed restraint in regards to me, well by golly, aren't you the condescending one.

My statements are neither broad, assumptive nor lazy, they go right to the heart of what I see as the problem here, unresolved destructive anger.

Oh, as far as misogyny, kiss my ass. This is exactly why I call you a lazy bigot. I have nothing against women and you know this, just because you have had your issues with men don't drag me into this abyss.

Last thing here since we are finally getting honest here bigot, my personality does have more integrity then you think.
My lack of self-awareness... :roflmao:  :roflmao:  :roflmao: the pot calling the kettle black. Please, all of you scream and moan the same tantrum.

"Danny, you are a moron. One minute conciliatory, the next making prejudicial statements".
I commented on a post you wrote. Sorry if you do not like my rebuttals.

[Samara]

wow, didn't catch Whooter's continued assertion I stood by while people's private info was bandied. I protested that publicly and privately. I am actually amazed Whooter's stamina for lying is so enduring.

[Joel]

Edited: Wednesday, October 06, 2010

[Samara]

Danny, anyone who has read your posts can plainly see your misogyny. All I had to do is read the absolute disgusting stuff you wrote about Anne. It was deeply unsettling to many of us. You really don't have a high ground to stand on.  All you do is project anyway. There is no way a man with any healthy, balanced feelings for women would write the way you wrote about Ms. Bonney.  I was actually afraid of you.

[Whooter]

wow, didn't catch Whooter's continued assertion I stood by while people's private info was bandied. I protested that publicly and privately. I am actually amazed Whooter's stamina for lying is so enduring.

Why did you just say that?  Why  not provide a link to where you protested publicly to where Dysfunction Junction posted a persons name address and phone number openly to put that other person at risk.  You posted on the thread before and after that post.  I brought it to your attention several times and you refused to acknowledge it happened, yet you want others banned for being pro-program or spinning the truth, I think is what you called it.

If you protested publicly can you show us the link?  I will apologize.



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[Botched Programming]

wow, didn't catch Whooter's continued assertion I stood by while people's private info was bandied. I protested that publicly and privately. I am actually amazed Whooter's stamina for lying is so enduring.

Now you are seeing what everyone here at Fornits have had to deal with for years now... Admin made a grave error lifting the ban off of him the second time... If we were playing baseball I would put in a fresh pitcher so we could get the third strike on him and call him out...

Much peace and healing sister Samara
 :peace:

[Whooter]

With you being so one sided you are overlooking the fact that the issue is a family issue and not that of just one side so all involed would need proper counseling and that would only come by both parties doing it.. What is good for the child is good for the parent as well at the same time and vice versa. It helps both sides be able to see red flags when they crop up..Plus it helps build trust on both sides if both are participating.

Thank God I always played an active role in both of my daughters lives, especially when it came to doctors, schools, and such..Having a child and being a parent are 2 totally different things...

But if the child is the one that needs the counseling then the parents dont necessarily need to be in the room with them.  You obviously have never had to deal with this.  Individual counseling is highly effective vs family therapy.  Many times it is important for the parents and child to receive separate counseling.
Not every situation is the same.  Some times the child needs the counseling and other time the parents need it.

I agree that it is important to play and active role in your child's life.  I couldn't imagine if I had just sat back and hoped for the best instead of staying with it and getting help for my daughter.  There are many posters here who feel that they should give up and just hope for the best and not seek outside help for their child and I disagree with this.  Any concerned parent would stay involved until the child was well and able to move out on their own.



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[Whooter]

wow, didn't catch Whooter's continued assertion I stood by while people's private info was bandied. I protested that publicly and privately. I am actually amazed Whooter's stamina for lying is so enduring.

Now you are seeing what everyone here at Fornits have had to deal with for years now... Admin made a grave error lifting the ban off of him the second time... If we were playing baseball I would put in a fresh pitcher so we could get the third strike on him and call him out...

Much peace and healing sister Samara
 :peace:

So my past post was so bad I should have been banned for it?  lol So tell us that you are not closed minded.  You guys are so isolated in your thoughts there is no reaching you, you cant even entertain a conversation where you are challenged.  Amazing... lets ban that guy!!!  lol.


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[Botched Programming]

 I couldn't imagine if I had just sat back and hoped for the best instead of staying with it and getting help for my daughter.  
...

But tell me.... Is your daughter eternally grateful for you sticking her in a warehouse for god knows however long... Did it bring you closer or drive a wedge between you, or has she even really forgiven you at this point... Did you get counseling to make you a better father as you really needed to do? And how is the relationship with said daughter today??? Do you talk to and be a part of her life on a regular basis..

As for me I learned from my familys mistakes with me when it came to me raising my kids, are they perfect... no but because I participated in their lives and did not try to get them help the first time they tried drinking and or smoke pot... they realized my disappointment.. Now that they are of age they can do what they want, both of them have their heads on straight for their ages and act more mature than their age group... All because I did not force them to do anything I was not willing to do myself.


Much peace and healing'
 :peace: