On 2004-01-14 21:38:00, Anonymous wrote:
"It's true. I was there. No girls want to be with me now. Thats why i fell into a depressing self destructive speed binge moments upon returning home. "
If you're not some immature kid trolling for flames, drop the speed and start saving your pennies.
You have *excellent* grounds for a civil rights lawsuit, and the statute of limitations for you suing anybody who did anything to you while you were a minor usually runs two years from your 18th birthday.
I'm not a lawyer, this is not specific legal advice, but I'd bet if you're not 20 yet, you could get some lawyer to work out a deal to take the case all or part on contingency.
Try the gay community for a referral to a good lawyer who's experienced in the whole federal civil rights case game---even though you're probably straight, you are likely to find more sympathy and a lawyer willing to fight like hell for you and to understand *exactly* why you feel violated and be able to make that case *strongly* in the courts.
Your sexual insecurity comes from the change being involuntary and a violation of your body and your sexuality. It was sexual molestation, exactly like a rape and for the same motivations on the part of the perpetrators----to control you, dominate you, and degrade you, sexually.
You need the same kind of post-trauma counseling a rape victim would need. Call a rape crisis center and ask for a referral to a counselor specializing in post-rape trauma who has experience with male survivors of rape and sexual molestation. You don't want to get a gender feminist who might have issues of her own with men---asking for a counselor with experience helping male victims will take care of that.
Don't explain what happened to you to people on the phone, they may not understand since it's probably outside their experience. Just tell them it's really difficult to talk about and you prefer to talk about it with a counselor.
If they question you're calling, tell them you're experiencing traumatic after-effects and a rape survivor who recognized those effects thought it would help you.